It took five years to love, one second to leave

𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝗕𝗲𝗮 𝗞𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝗙𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗼, 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 𝗣𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀

Breakups are never easy. But ending a relationship after five years is a whole different kind of pain. I’ve seen this happen to my best friend, who just ended things with her boyfriend of half a decade. What she’s feeling isn’t just sadness — it feels more like loss.

Five years isn’t just a number. It’s full of memories, routines, plans, and dreams. For my best friend, her relationship became a big part of her life. They shared habits, inside jokes, and ideas for the future. When it all ended suddenly, it felt like she lost a part of herself.

At first, she was quiet. Then the crying started, the sleepless nights, and questions like, “Was it my fault?” or “Did I do something wrong?” It was painful to see her blame herself when it wasn’t all her fault. That kind of thinking can really mess with someone’s mind.

People don’t always realize how much a breakup can affect a person’s mental health. Others might say things like, “Just move on,” or “You’ll find someone new,” but it’s not that easy. When you’ve given years of your life to someone, moving on takes time. You’re not just losing a person — you’re losing a future you believed in.

My best friend started avoiding everyone. She didn’t want to do schoolwork, talk, or even eat. Those are clear signs of emotional pain. But still, many people expect you to act like everything’s fine — especially women. Society says, “Don’t cry over a boy,” but emotions aren’t that simple.

Breakups can cause serious mental health problems like anxiety, depression, or panic attacks. I’ve seen my friend go through all of these. She feels like she’s not enough and that she’ll never be the same again. And on top of that, she’s scared people will judge her for feeling this way.

One of the hardest parts was how lonely she felt. It wasn’t just about losing her ex — it was feeling like nobody really understood what she was going through. I tried my best to be there, but I also realized that our society doesn’t give people the space to grieve lost love unless it’s through something like death.

Many people think breakups are just something you deal with and move on. But for some, they bring up deeper issues — like fear of being abandoned, past trauma, or low self-worth. And when there’s not enough support, healing becomes even harder.

Seeing my best friend go through this made me realize something important, emotional pain is just as real as physical pain. She didn’t need someone to fix her. She just needed someone to sit with her, listen, and let her know her feelings are okay.

We need to talk more openly about how breakups affect mental health. Going to therapy should be encouraged, not looked down on. And as friends or family, we need to do more than just give advice — we need to be present, kind, and patient.

Healing from a five-year relationship doesn’t happen overnight. Some days my friend feels okay. Other days, she breaks down again. And that’s normal. Healing takes time, and what matters is that she’s still moving forward, and that she knows she isn’t alone.

To anyone who’s been through something like this: your pain is real. It’s okay to cry, to feel lost, or to fall apart. But please don’t keep it all inside. Talk to someone. Healing takes time, but you don’t have to do it alone.

And lastly, breakups aren’t “just a phase” for some people. They can completely change someone. They can leave people broken. So if we really want to support those we care about, we have to take their pain seriously — and help them through it with love.